Showing posts with label work. Show all posts
Showing posts with label work. Show all posts

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

A Case of Mistaken Identity

I've cut back tremendously on my work over the past month or so. This was a conscious choice in an aim to step back from my professional life which was great or horrible depending on which day I looked at it.

I wanted more time with my kids, I wanted more time with myself, I wanted to enjoy what I spent my time on. . .

Yet here I sit wondering what I was thinking. I am spending more time with my kids, yet I also feel incredibly disconnected. I wonder what else work was giving me besides money and a resume pad.

Was it giving me a social outlet?

Was it giving me an escape?

Was it giving me a purpose?

Was it giving me an identity?

I am meeting a ton of new people right now and I thank God, Goddess, All That Is that I have something professional going on so I don't have to say I don't work.

I can't seem to accept it, embrace it or appreciate it.

I also find my life is filled with a new layer of anxiety. I think I used to hide from things I didn't enjoy or feel comfortable with by focusing on work. I've got nothing to pull me in that way anymore.

In short, I'm still unsure what the right path is. I think it might be good to give this a bit more time and see what doors open up as I close this one tighter.

On the other hand, I might go nuts!

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Breaking Up Is Hard To Do

It started almost ten years ago - a passionate, intense affair. I threw myself into it with abandon and poured my heart and soul into making it a success. Early mornings led into late evenings of time together. We were inseparable.

About seven years ago I started feeling a little caged in and out-of-touch with myself. I wanted something new, so I had the difficult conversations we all know so well and flung myself away. It took all my energy to leave, but I had to because I had no more energy to sustain.

After that I had a three year affair with another that was never a perfect fit. It had its pluses, but it had its negatives as well. I still kept in touch with my previous affair but neither of us made any moves. I tried and tried to make it work with the new affair, but it just wasn't happening. When I finally came to grips with this, I left.

I swore I wouldn't attach myself so intently to another for a long time. I needed to play the field and take a break from the intensity that followed me when I found a match. For four years I've done just that. I've had many affairs, but all on my own terms. I kept my own home, I set my own schedule. I was independent.

But I kept going back to that first affair. Sometimes it would be a quick interlude. Sometimes it would be a few months or more. We even didn't speak at one point for almost a year and a half.

A few months ago, the grand discussions started again. "Things have changed, I need you, it's all different, here is how it can be for us". I fretted, I wondered, I worried. Should I go back? Finally, after much deliberation, I said I'd try it again. We'd tie ourselves together again and see if it could be what we hoped it would be. I had a trip planned, but said I'd be ready to commit when I returned.

I got back last week. I came forward with an open heart. Yet I was dumped - or duped. "It's all changed", I heard, "You are still wanted. You are still needed. You are still the one. But I can't give you what you need". The old patterns are so deeply embedded, why did I think they would change?

That, my friends, is the story of my professional life over the past ten years. Now I am back to my age-old question. Should I stay or should I go?

Thursday, July 3, 2008

What Did She Say?

I had a meeting yesterday with a woman whom I had been in email communication with, but hadn't met. When I came into our meeting room, she stood up and shook my hand saying "Oh, you are an ???l? lady like me!"

Because of some rustling, or perhaps my personal blocking, I wasn't sure what she said.

What I hope she said was "Oh, you are little lady like me", since we are both on the shorter side of not-so-tall.

What I think she said was "Oh, you are an old lady like me", since many of our colleagues are on the younger side of not-so-old.

Did she just say that?!